Why Write?

Why write? I tend to just want to rant when I write, and “love keeps no record of wrongs.” So for years I avoided writing, my heart’s greatest expression.

The equal of singing.

But You told me to write. A book, You said. You’re kidding, I said. For eight years.

I knew You wanted me to write about the fire, and the changes that happened after. Your faithfulness in spite of my faithlessness. Your love that overcomes my fear. Your forgiveness that drowns out my bitterness. Your presence that displaces my panic. Your promises that light up my dark depressions.

Pastor Mitch recently cleared it up for me: it’s not that we’re denying all the bad things that happen, we just choose to speak the higher truth.

Jodie just sat beside me as I started writing, and I felt the immediate reaction: DON’T READ!! But that’s not right. This is meant to be read. Just as Chuck Norris once said that he never made movies he couldn’t bring his children to watch, so my writing should be something I can let my children read.

This is more challenging than I think it already is. But even now, I sense the blessing. In Psalm 32, David said, When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer. (NIV)

Psa 32:3  When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.
Psa 32:4  For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.(KJV)

Drought. That word has recurred in Your conversation with me for four years now, but this time, in this passage, the drought is caused by my self. My silence, Your hand heavy on me – not to oppress or subdue me, but because You were that close, and yet all I wanted was to wallow in silence.

Psa 32:5  I acknowledged my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the LORD; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
Psa 32:6  For this shall every one that is godly pray unto thee in a time when thou mayest be found: surely in the floods of great waters they shall not come nigh unto him.
Psa 32:7  Thou art my hiding place; thou shalt preserve me from trouble; thou shalt compass me about with songs of deliverance. Selah. (KJV)

I love that wording: compass me with songs of deliverance.

As I confess – as I agree with You that yes, I have sinned, I have purposely avoided Your command and so have missed the mark You had put in my path to follow – You forgive. Not because of me, or even simply because You love.

You forgive because Jesus paid for this sin when He hung on that cross. And His resurrection three days later is Your declaration of acceptance of that payment.

Thank You, Lord Jesus, for paying for my sin. Thank You, Father, for accepting Jesus’ payment, and declaring me forgiven. And thank You, Holy Spirit, for constantly reminding me of this truth.

The song on my playlist now caught my ear. Nothing fits “song of deliverance” better than a Christmas song that tells of what You did:

Glory, glory in the highest!
Glory, glory in the highest!
You’ve come to set us free,
forever we will say: GLORY!!

Hallelujah, You reign!
Hallelujah, You reign!
Hallelujah, Jesus, You reign!
(Glory In The Highest by Chris Kuti from LifeChurch.tv Carols)

Psa 32:10  Many sorrows shall be to the wicked: but he that trusteth in the LORD, mercy shall compass him about.
Psa 32:11  Be glad in the LORD, and rejoice, ye righteous: and shout for joy, all ye that are upright in heart.


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