I don’t wanna check beforehand how long it’s been since my last blog. I know it’s been months, and I know that for some reason, I got caught up in religious discussions.
I didn’t quite mind, because I learned much about myself and one thing about most people — including myself — when it comes to discussions: most of the time, we don’t want one. We just wanna be able to speak our minds, and we hate it when someone gives a viewpoint that contradicts ours because we didn’t see all the possible angles against our arguments.
It’s tiring. It’s tiring to deal with rants. It’s tiring to rant.
Specially if it’s a religious rant.
I’ll try not to rant.
As a Facebook gamer with a guild, we have a joke: real life gets in the way of the game.
And in my case, real life has finally caught up with my religiosity.
I remember when I first got pregnant, I told my husband: it’s not that pregnant women suddenly lose their good character, it’s just that our physical energy is focused on nurturing the life growing inside us 24/7 for nine months, we lose patience with drama. I know some other pregnant women take the route of giving in to the drama more, using their pregnancy as an excuse. I had to walk away from a pregnant cousin years ago when she gave her pregnancy as an excuse for being a b*tch.
I so wanted to slap her then.
Anyway, as I said, real life is getting my attention again, finally. It’s been about 4 months since the end of my Sabbath year, and it’s been like being in limbo. But something happened this week that has finally caught my heart again, and bringing back to life how dependent on Jesus I really am.
And I’m grateful!
I still need to wait about a week for a doctor to confirm things, but a dentist has pointed out to me that my problem may not be my jaw, but my muscles. Muscles in pain that cause other muscles to react painfully to contact.
Part of me thinks it’s a vicious cycle: my displaced jaw giving the muscles extra load, affecting the muscles in my face, neck and back. And the dentist even showed me in the physical therapist’s textbook how pain in my trapezius can radiate pain all over my back up to my neck and face.
But like I said, I still need a doctor to confirm. The dentist sent me to a Physical and Sports Rehabilitation Medicine doctor. The one friend, aside from my husband, that I asked to pray for me asked her medical professional sister what it was (her internet was down), and she was told that I should be going to a Rheumatologist. For now, I go with my dentist’s recommendation, and reading up what I can about it.
At least, I don’t feel like I’m still floating around in limbo.
And Jesus is still anchoring my eyes — my life — on His finished work on the cross.
That’s what matters to me.