I’ll let the words speak for themselves:

Justice demanded satisfaction: the Law had been broken again and again. Judgement required immediate action, Death wanted payment for sin.

But Mercy refused, and Love took my place there on the cross where Justice met Grace. Mercy refused to let me die: Jesus the Lamb was crucified. Though rightfully, Death wanted me — Mercy refused!

Christ has become my righteousness. The Lord is my peace and my freedom from sin. Now I am called to His holiness, to a new life I entered in when Mercy refused, and Love took my place there on the cross where Justice met Grace. Mercy refused to let me die: Jesus the Lamb was crucified. Though rightfully, Death wanted me — Mercy refused!

As high as the heavens are over the earth, so great is His love for us! And as far as the east is from the west: that’s how far He’s removed our transgressions from us!

May the memory and the reality of what Jesus has done for you refresh your heart today and everyday, as you walk with Him on this earth, until you see Him face to face.

And yet, I have no guilt. It somehow brings me back to my early days of faith, when my parents wouldn’t let me attend a church that didn’t belong to the family religion (and would find my bible and hide it where I can’t find it, so I save up for new ones). Back then, what fed my soul were sermon broadcasts from a Christian radio station — I “grew up” on Greg Laurie, Raul Ries, and Chuck Smith, with doses of Mike Warnke, Isaac Air Freight, Carman, Russ Taff, Twila Paris. . .

It was a simpler time for me, when only one thing mattered: Jesus loves me.

When I got the chance to get actively involved in Christian churches . . . I loved it, don’t get me wrong. To finally be able to sing out loud, pray with people, give of myself. . . it was a different family, and I enjoyed blessing and being blessed.

But somehow, after maybe 20 years, I got tired.

No, wait. Not tired. Old.

No, I’m not being a smart-ass. If I may borrow the words of John the Apostle, from the 2nd chapter of his first letter in the bible (NIV):

 ¹² I write to you, dear children, 
   because your sins have been forgiven on account of his name. 
¹³ I write to you, fathers, 
   because you have known him who is from the beginning. 
I write to you, young men, 
   because you have overcome the evil one. 
I write to you, dear children, 
   because you have known the Father. 
¹⁴ I write to you, fathers, 
   because you have known him who is from the beginning. 
I write to you, young men, 
   because you are strong, 
   and the word of God lives in you, 
   and you have overcome the evil one.  (from biblegateway.com)

Right now, only one thing matters to me: Jesus loves me. Through Jesus I am forgiven, accepted, loved, cherished, and being made whole. It isn’t that ministry or spiritual warfare don’t matter — it’s just that, as Larry Crabb wrote in Finding God, God matters more.

God matters more.

And I am finding that being alone with Him again helps me remember that better, and see that, in spite of all that I still am, that’s really what my heart is crying out to say:

God matters more. To me.

And so, again, I have withdrawn, this time of my own accord, and not a forced withdrawal like when I was 16. I withdrew from the local church, but not from The Church, the Body of Christ, the Bride of Christ. I still meet with Christian friends, and we laugh together, eat together, open up about our struggles, scold if needed, encourage when needed — hug and hold each other. Someone told me I should go back to attending church services because of the Hebrews 10:25 exhortation, but I find that these little get-together with my friends from my early Christian years meet that verse even better than the local church ever did. . .

I am not criticizing anyone. I’m just . . . feeling old, I guess. Like somehow, the “young man” stage of my Christian walk is over, and even if I’m only 43, I wanna walk the rest of my life with just one thing in my heart:

Jesus matters more.

And honestly, that’s all I can really tell people too. Jesus matters more. And yet, God gave Him up for us. For you. For me. Jesus gave Himself up for us. For you.

For me.

I don’t think I’ll ever figure it out — how Someone who matters infinitely more than I do would say I matter to Him. I matter to God and Jesus so much that Christmas and Easter happened, and on Pentecost, His Holy Spirit came to stay and be with me.

I’ll never understand.

And I hope I never stop being grateful and start taking it for granted.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

But now, in the light of God’s grace, I know that — thank God, through Jesus! — it’s never about anything I may or may not have done, or be doing, or will do.

It was because of what Jesus did on the cross on my behalf that  has freed God to bless me indiscriminately.

Yup, no qualifications, no criteria, no requirements save one:

“This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.” John 6:29 NAS

I remember back in September 2000, when, after 8 months of pregnancy and 2 months of Childbirth Preparation classes, we finally had to go for an ultrasound check up because the midwife at the birthing center said it was required if we didn’t want to go to a hospital to give birth.

And found out we were having twins.

She immediately told us that the law of the land requires that I be referred to a doctor, because multiple births are included in high-risk pregnancies that midwives are not allowed to supervise on their own.

I remember going with Irl to the music studio where he worked as a piano teacher the following Saturday. As I stood behind the receptionist’s desk, a mother of one of the students chatted with me about my pregnancy. I told her we were having twins, but my face obviously showed not just joy but also apprehension: while we were not really perfectly prepared for a single child, we were even more grossly unprepared for twins. We were volunteers at a para-church organization and we were obviously not making enough to be able to manage providing for twins. One child could be worked with, but two — we needed a different plan. Fast.

The mom told me not to worry: “That’s a reward! Not a problem!”

While I was encouraged by the “not a problem” — after all, it was God who decided He would give us twins, so I knew in my heart He wasn’t as caught-unaware as Irl and I were — I felt a check in my soul when I heard “reward.”

I know she meant well, and I don’t even think she realized the spiritual implication of what she said, so I have nothing against her. But it really got me thinking:

Reward means I did something to deserve this. But I know I didn’t. These kids are BLESSINGS!! Totally, amazingly undeserved blessings that I never earned!

I guess that was my first encounter with a grace thought…

Fast forward to December 6, 2011.

A household mishap caused our house to get flooded that night. When we realized it, Jodie and Roni grabbed a mop each while I raced to the bathroom to clear the path to the drain. I didn’t need to ask them to help me, we all just started working together to clean up the water. There was no blaming on who may have left the faucet on, no scolding about “wasting water”. I showed them the best way to use the mop to help clear up the water, so they stayed in the “bedroom section” of our one-room house while I directed the water into the drain.

It was amazing. They just helped. They just worked. I didn’t need to ask. I didn’t need to move them from the computer — I was the one who needed to be moved, because it was during a Castle Age guild battle *toink* — or the tv, they just grabbed the mops and started pushing the water back to the bathroom.

And unlike Maria, I KNOW I could not have done anything good, from my childhood to now, to deserve the blessing of children like mine. Yes, we may have brought them up differently: we always told them that Jesus said our job is to teach them and prepare them for the time when they would be on their own. We also made ourselves accountable to them: any rule we impose on them, we must be under as well (this is why Irl has to apologize when the kids catch him playing PS2 on a weeknight, which was a no-no the whole family agreed on…hehehe).

No, I can only say this is grace. God’s grace. We have been honored by people who have seen the difference between our children and most other kids their age (or even older), and we know that the wisdom — and the resources — we have been led by is from God and God alone.

Specifically, from our Heavenly Father.

I remember before I got pregnant. Having grown up in a not-so-affectionate family — my mom’s love languages were gifts and works, mine was time and touch: talk about lost in translation, huh? — I was thinking of modelling my parenting on my christian in-laws. But being human, they also had imperfections that I was sure I would not want to inadvertently follow. I was desperate. How was I going to learn to be a parent?

Then very gently, the Holy Spirit lifted my eyes to see — my heavenly Father. And so I prayed: “Lord, open my eyes to see how you father me, and show us how You want us to lead our future children into the destiny You have for them.”

He is still answering that prayer.

Now I’m not saying I’m perfect. NO. WAY. If anything, I see my failures outweighing whatever success I am told I have accomplished — regardless of what you think about yourself, fellow mom, I am the lead candidate for meanest mom in history (Jezebel is most evil mom, but not necessarily meanest), also for most inadequate.

But I am blessed, and indiscriminately so. Not simply because of my amazing twin daughters, but more — waaaaaay more! – than that:

Because God Himself is my father. MY Father!

And all because of what Jesus has accomplished for me!

Their names are Jodie Ann: praise grace! And Roni Lynn: river of joyful song.

They know we call them “Praise” and “Rejoice”. ^_^

In the midst of that rush came my friends from The Edge Media with our yearly First Day of Christmas celebration. This year it was in Boys Town in Marikina. It also marked the first time ever I went around by myself in my own car. MINE! An early Christmas gift from my Heavenly Dad!

Meet The Dude: our new old car -- it's actually classified as a station wagon.

I had posted a call for donations about two weeks before the event, and 3 friends replied. So Jesus and I went on a date with The Dude — one of the only times He lets me take the driver’s seat — last friday to pick up the donations of the last 2 friends (I had picked up one batch the day before, with the kids helping me) after an emergency visit to the dentist. On my way to the 2nd – and last – house, I received a text asking me to come about 3 hours later.

So I decided to take a break.

Food!

frazzled and hungry driver

It wasn’t as big a feast as it looks, because I didn’t eat everything. I ordered the Roast Chicken and Spaghetti just for the chicken…which was dry…oh well.

You don’t believe I didn’t eat everything? I have proof of my left-overs that I took home!

That’s the 2nd piece of chicken, and ALL the spaghetti!

hahahahaha!!

It’s great to know Jesus doesn’t say “no” to treating myself like this. That day was a break from a lot of stuff: from the house, to be by myself, and to treat myself to a dinner I didn’t have to prepare and won’t have to wash the dishes for after…

And I am grateful!

I didn’t quite mind, because I learned much about myself and one thing about most people — including myself — when it comes to discussions: most of the time, we don’t want one.  We just wanna be able to speak our minds, and we hate it when someone gives a viewpoint that contradicts ours because we didn’t see all the possible angles against our arguments.

It’s tiring. It’s tiring to deal with rants. It’s tiring to rant.

Specially if it’s a religious rant.

I’ll try not to rant.

As a Facebook gamer with a guild, we have a joke: real life gets in the way of the game.

And in my case, real life has finally caught up with my religiosity.

I remember when I first got pregnant, I told my husband: it’s not that pregnant women suddenly lose their good character, it’s just that our physical energy is focused on nurturing the life growing inside us 24/7 for nine months, we lose patience with drama. I know some other pregnant women take the route of giving in to the drama more, using their pregnancy as an excuse. I had to walk away from a pregnant cousin years ago when she gave her pregnancy as an excuse for being a b*tch.

I so wanted to slap her then.

Anyway, as I said, real life is getting my attention again, finally. It’s been about 4 months since the end of my Sabbath year, and it’s been like being in limbo. But something happened this week that has finally caught my heart again, and bringing back to life how dependent on Jesus I really am.

And I’m grateful!

I still need to wait about a week for a doctor to confirm things, but a dentist has pointed out to me that my problem may not be my jaw, but my muscles. Muscles in pain that cause other muscles to react painfully to contact.

Fibromyalgia.

Part of me thinks it’s a vicious cycle: my displaced jaw giving the muscles extra load, affecting the muscles in my face, neck and back. And the dentist even showed me in the physical therapist’s textbook how pain in my trapezius can radiate pain all over my back up to my neck and face.

But like I said, I still need a doctor to confirm. The dentist sent me to a Physical and Sports Rehabilitation Medicine doctor. The one friend, aside from my husband, that I asked to pray for me asked her medical professional sister what it was (her internet was down), and she was told that I should be going to a Rheumatologist. For now, I go with my dentist’s recommendation, and reading up what I can about it.

At least, I don’t feel like I’m still floating around in limbo.

And Jesus is still anchoring my eyes — my life — on His finished work on the cross.

That’s what matters to me.

And so Mideo Cruz’ Kulo, which, as I read, features an ashtray with a male sex organ pasted on the face on a crucifix, was condemned. Even vandalized: yup, people actually came into the exhibit and vandalized it. Debates were formed. The distinguished were called in. Old awards earned by the administrator are being considered “given in error.” The former First Lady, who set up the Cultural Center of the Philippines, was outraged. The President stepped in.

I even saw a blog - http://jessaemiel.blogspot.com/2011/08/weapons-for-religious-destruction.html - that said Mideo Cruz violated the law on Religious Rights.

Two personal friends I respect gave me thoughtful insights to the whole reaction going on:

“It all boils down to whether an artist believes that God is the source of his talent or not! i wouldn’t bite God’s hand, would you? and if they believe Jesus is the Son of God, and in the values of Christianity, isn’t it only right to show love & respect for Him through our art?“ – Jovianney Emmanuel “John-Em” Cruz

“There are precious few at ease with moral ambiguities so we act as though they don’t exist. – The Wizard, in Wicked …and so many more who, afraid that their minds are too puny to handle the difference between objective reality and what represents it, act as if the representation were the sacred, as if the sacred could be limited to the material…“ – Sam Prudente

The blog I mentioned says: “This is the only we can do as Christians; follow the due process of law than declaring a holy war against these artists.  Even in the Bible, the Old Testaments, those who are guilty of Blasphemy is punishable by death even in the New Testaments. That is why Jesus was crucified because he was accused of Blasphemy.” (that’s copy-pasted, unedited)

Hmmm….

Yes, Jesus was crucified for blasphemy. But Jesus was telling the truth about God and the religious elite of his time. If you will call Mideo Cruz’ art blasphemy, then why don’t we consider the possibility that he is also saying something true about God and the religious elite of our times?

The very fact that there are icons and images that are supposedly “representing” God is a violation of the 2nd commandment of His 10 Commandments. If there is any insult to God being done here, it is the image and idols, and not the wooden penis ashtray stuck to the face of the idol. Yes, Mideo Cruz insulted the RELIGION, but that doesn’t mean he insulted God. Was it not religion who started the insults by openly disobeying God’s command to “not make an idol or image of anything in heaven above, earth below or the sea beneath to bow down before them and worship them”? Mideo Cruz, as pointed out, violated the law of the land.

But this land has been violating the Second Commandment of the Law of God far longer.

While I do not agree with Mideo Cruz insulting the images via his art, the uproar in defense of the images is so revealing of the state of the heart of this country: we get angry when someone insults the idols we put up, but we keep quiet in the face of acts that desecrate the true image of God.

PEOPLE.

Is Mideo Cruz insulting an idol worse than government office workers asking for bribes — excuse me, “facilitation fees” — in front of their crucifixes, ‘Mama Mary’s, and Santo Ninos, or a member of the clergy asking for an expensive vehicle from the profits of the gambling institutions his religion condemns? Not to mention stories upon stories of priests taking sexual advantage of women and children — both boys and girls — in their parishes. And what of rape, prostitution, white slavery, and the greedy who take advantage of the poor, making them think that selling themselves is the only way for them to survive?

Like it or not, Mideo Cruz, as a human being, is created in the image of God. But like John-Em said, he seems to not recognize God or Jesus as the Son of God, or he would not have used the images he did for his artwork. But is the Christian reaction to this flawed image of God faithful to the redeemed image of God we now supposedly have, having received Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and having the Holy Spirit indwelling us, as we claim? Do we really believe that if Jesus were here, He would condemn Mideo Cruz? Or would He stoop down, write on the ground, and tell the indignant crowd, “whoever of you has no sin, cast the first stone,” then tell Mideo after that He does not condemn him, giving Mideo a glimpse of the true nature of God?

If the Christian church truly thinks that Mideo Cruz is crazy, a spawn of hell and should be thrown in jail, or worse, put to death (because blasphemy is punishable by death, according to the Law of Moses), what is the response that will most reflect Christ to Mideo Cruz: condemning him? Or reaching out to him and showing him who Jesus truly is?

Throw the book at him?

Or explain the Book to him?

Mideo Cruz has stated he sees his work as a critique. Isn’t it so typical of the critiqued to lash back when exposed, rather than see if the critique has merit, and then give a good defense?

I love what my friend Sam said: “as if the representation were the sacred, as if the sacred could be limited to the material.”

I think the real uproar in Mideo Cruz’ work is not the insult to the material representation, but the exposition of our guilt:

WE HAVE BEEN INSULTING THE GOD WE SAY WE WORSHIP BY BRINGING HIM DOWN TO THE LEVEL OF SCULPTED WOOD AND PLASTER, AND ELEVATING OUR IDOLS TO THE THRONE ONLY HE SHOULD OCCUPY.

And selfish, perverted responses to God-given human passions is the foremost idol of mankind.

An old saying goes: “If you throw a rock at a pack of dogs, the one who barks loudest is the one who got hit.”

Yeah, I found the movie disappointing, but as I have no intention of turning this blog into a review, I will say no more than “there were not enough action scenes with Optimus Prime and Bumblebee, but there was that awesome stunt by NEST forces, so it kinda makes up for it  . . . KINDA.”

Besides, looking at what we have now, all we really need for a good home theater system is a bigger, wider TV. Our sound system may only have the auxiliary function left (cd player and double-cassette deck have retired), but it still sounds good! And we may not have a blu-ray player, but there are free downloadable software for blu-ray playing on your computer, and the laptops have HDMI sockets.

Oh, that’s the second thing we need: HDMI cable.

Hah.

Yeah, it was almost a painful lesson. Paying that much for a movie that didn’t meet my expectations. Suddenly one understands why pirated movies proliferate like mushrooms: less of a pain in the pocket. Imagine being able to buy 10 movies you can watch over and over on your home theater for less than the price of one 2D theater ticket. And if you have enough conscience to not buy bootleg copies, even an original DVD at original release price would be cheaper!

I guess we just chose the wrong movie. I had totally forgotten about Kung Fu Panda 2, and so planned on Transformers 3.

*sigh*

Family innings. As opposed to family outings.

Movies are now permanently on the family innings’ list. That’s how we’ve been doing it since the girls were about a year old, when we were being charged FULL PAY for two toddlers Irl and I had strapped to ourselves because we knew they’d just fall asleep in the air-conditioned theater anyway…

So we just went to a nearby resto and ate.

We decided early on to take movie ratings seriously. And it seems to have worked, because when we found and bought the Street Fighter dvd (Jean Claude Van Damme and Raul Julia), the girls refused to watch it because “Mommy, it says PG-13.” Irl and I, who had seen it in our 20s (yes, we’re that old. Am 43, remember?) had to watch it again to figure out what the PG-13 was about. Profanity, mostly, and we were able to explain to the girls why Col. Guile was “being very rude” to Gen. Bison. For us, when we had seen it, Guile’s language was mild. I’d cussed worse. But then, after almost 11 years of motherhood, I have to admit, I got shocked by the language too…

hehehehe : )

I think we had more fun during the Starbucks time after the movie last Monday.

The girls were talking about their “latest scripts” (they talk about movies they’ve watched, recasting people they know to play the characters), but not once referring to the movie they just watched (yup, even my 10-year olds were disappointed). They asked to smell my Chai Latte, asked why Irl’s Mocha looked the way it did, and eventually asked for extra sugar for their Signature Hot Chocolate — it’s always been too strong for them, so we’d been ordering one, dividing it between two cups, then adding some water. We enjoyed Classic Chocolate Cake — they were out of the Butterscotch, my favorite.

For some reason, our best family outings have been about food: whether going to a restaurant or visiting friends’ houses and sharing a meal. Typical Asian culture, I guess: bonding over a meal. From cracklings and vinegar to Thanksgiving feasts, it’s always been a greater way to spend time together.

And that’s the important thing, right? Spending time together. Specially with the family.

Specially with your children.

Most specially with each other.

So. . . Irl and I still need to screen Prince of Persia and City Hunter; we are saving up for Voyage of the Dawn Treader, The Princess and the Frog, Rapunzel, and a wide-screen TV. Definitely, the discs will come first, one at a time, depending on which goes on sale first. In the meantime, we continue to just sit together at home whenever we can, and the girls teach me how to play on the PS2, and I help them work on their math, while Irl sets up the video streaming for the anime shows we watch online.

Family innings can be just as fun as family outings. AND be a lot cheaper. And that helps a lot in making it more enjoyable, too. : )

Many of you know that the past year has been a Sabbath year for me. No involvements in any ministries, beyond fun gatherings with friends, like The Edge Media’s Thanksgiving, and First Day of Christmas. Oh, there was the pet show co-hosting, too, that gave us the opportunity to finally bring our girls to watch a movie in a real movie house, a 3D movie at that, all for free!!

Thank you, my beloved Edge Media family!!

While last year’s confirmation to begin the Sabbath came on my birthday, what made it a Sabbath year, a 7th year, was my mother’s death on July 24, 2004. July 24, 2010 – July 24, 2011 is the 7th year since her passing in 2004. And truly, that was when the “week’s” labor began that I definitely needed to rest from.

For most of those years, I was running on momentum. As early as 2007, I knew God was telling me to stop, but I kept misunderstanding what He meant, until finally, last year, as I turned 42, He pulled me away from everything and imprisoned me in His arms.

And in my house.

Yes, I confess: it really felt like a prison. Nowhere to go, and hardly anyone to talk to. Not even internet on at that time, as our ISP, instead of fixing the lines drowned by Ondoy in 2009 just laid down new lines but continued to charge us waiting subscribers for services they never rendered. THEN had the gall to charge us for pretermination! Poor customer service girl had to bear the brunt of my frustration, but then, forgive me, but that was the stupidest question I’d heard: “Did you report the disconnection, ma’m?” “Yes, twice at the actual office in Megamall. How many times do we have to report to your company something that you already know happened anyway? All your connections in Rizal have been DEAD since Ondoy on Sep 26, 2009!”

Argh, distractions. But gosh, it’s quite a relief to let it out. . .

I turned 43 last sunday, a year after the sabbath year was imposed on me.

How appropriate, isn’t it? I was told to stop working on a saturday (last year), and have been officially released from the sabbath on a sunday. The first day of the week, the first day of my year.

And the first door that was opened was my family.

When my mother died, things were thrust upon me that should not have been my responsibility. But when people refuse to be responsible for their obligations, sometimes the responsible get burdened with them. And then be accused of trying to maneuver yourself into a position of power. Usurper.

It’s the classic damned if I do, damned if I don’t.

And, as always, the first people to suffer was my own family: Irl and the girls bore much of my frustration at my helplessness to do anything; the girls, young as they were, began to see how I was being blamed for doing things right (like paying off debts and trying to pay bills on time), and began their own campaign to try to protect me. Irl felt helpless that he could not just uproot us and move us away from the poisonous situation, because we couldn’t just walk out on the legacy my mother had worked so hard to leave behind for my brother and me.

Was it fear of loss that made us stay? Perhaps. Was it disbelief that God can handle the situation? Probably.

Whatever our true motivation was, one thing was clear: God wanted us to rest from it. And restore us to what He had originally planned our family to be.

For my birthday this year, someone asked if I had cake and presents. I didn’t. At least, not in the expected tradition.

I just wanted three things for this year: watch a sunset, go to Vieux Chalet, have ice cream cake.

I got more. So typical of God, isn’t it?

Helplessness will contribute to a feeling of inadequacy that adds to the total discouragement a person might feel about herself. So the first thing God gave me was Irl:

“I’m sorry if I have been taking you for granted. I’m going to do my best to stop taking you for granted from now on, and if I do it again, please let me know.”

On the rare occasion that I had mascara on, too, right? And he was wearing a white shirt. Well, undershirt. That was God’s “thinking ahead” for us. ^_^

And then to realize that because of what has been going on, I have been the one pulling away from my own children. That was why the house felt like a prison: there was nothing else I wanted but to leave, but because I had kids, and I homeschooled them, I had to stay home.

Needless to say, I lapsed terribly and horribly on their homeschooling for the past year.

Now I see how my daughters have been just trying to involve me in their lives too: they want me to play PS2 with them. They research about Japanese anime, animals and plants, and show me what they find. They put on Baby’s Day Out for me because we all can’t stop laughing even if we’ve practically memorized the movie by now. Or they “ask to watch” Legend of the Shadowless Sword and Reign of Assassins because they know I like martial arts, specially if they’re done beautiful kick-ass women like Michelle Yeoh, Yoon Soy and Lee Ki Yong. And Maggie Cheung and Zhang Zi Yi. And Liu Yifei. And…

You get the point, right.

On my birthday, they also let me share with them something I like, and we discovered something we all found amazing: Vieux Chalet’s Shrimp Ravioli. We also got to watch the sunset from one of the windows at the restaurant, after which we had dessert: Swiss Chocolate Cake – with ICE CREAM!!

My three birthday wishes!

Vieux Chalet Shrimp Ravioli

And my beloved family with me, doing it for me. Sharing it with me.

Today, I did something Jodie and Roni and Irl have been waiting for me to do for several months now: learn to play PS2. Irl is still an ace coach, and the two girls exhibit the all-too-familiar impatience of youth with an older person catching up with technology. Irl kept telling them “Mommy learns best when trying things out on her own.” (Now, if I can only remember that I need to move my thumb to hit the triangle, and not my index finger, making Athrun jump instead of finishing the planned combo…) Sometime soon, I need to make good on my promise to try to teach the girls knitting — I’m just a beginner myself — and to get that book on sketching that will replace our art lessons for now. Unless there’s an art teacher out there willing to take us three on? But even before that, we’ll need to take a crash course on grade 4 studies to get them on time for grade 5…

But right now, after sunday with my family, is monday: Irl has taken the day off to celebrate some more, and we’re planning to take the girls out to a movie. Transformers 3. Watch Optimus Prime and Bumblebee kick some Decepticon arses…

Happy birthday to me. And Happy 4th of July — Independence Day! — to all who celebrate it!

And then..HE ROARS!!!!

Little wonder the hyenas were gone from the second movie! ^_^

My Facebook friend, John P. Cwynar, recently wrote this:

“Lions roar, not when stalking prey, but when they are are marking out their territory. Their purpose is to assert their presence and strength, and attempt to bring terror to any who are in their territory.“

He was talking about the bible verse “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” (1 Peter 5:8), and he said that the key phrase is “like a roaring lion.”

But anyone who has seen documentaries about lions – or even just The Lion King! – would know that lions don’t roar while they stalk prey (remember Mufasa giving Simba a pouncing lesson?). That would defeat the purpose. I have heard some say that the lion will roar, scaring the prey, making them run away from the roar and into the waiting lionesses’ jaws. But I have not seen this tactic featured in documentaries about lions. Bottlenose dolphins, yes, but not lions (The Challenges of Life from Sir Richard Attenborough’s Life documentaries). Altho dolphins don’t roar….

I digress, sorry.

The enemy of our souls has no more territory. When Jesus rose from the dead, He rose as the new authority of the earth. The dominion God had given Adam, who surrendered it to the devil by his disobedience, now belongs to the Second Adam, who won it back by His obedience unto death, even death on a cross. That was why Jesus’ final words on earth were “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to ME.” (Matthew 28:18, emphasis mine) And maybe that’s why the verse goes “seeking whom he may devour.” I’ve never seen a predator asking his prey for permission to eat him, have you? Yet we unwittingly allow the devil to devour our joy, destroy our hope, and decimate our souls when we credit the roar we hear to him.

It’s not him. He is only going around like a roaring lion, but he is NOT a roaring lion!

Food for thought, huh?

If there is a lion roaring to mark his territory, it is the Lion of the tribe of Judah: Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. And his enemies cower at the sound, even as his own find courage in the strength of that roar.

What would Jesus be roaring about, though? I saw two instances in the gospel (I know there are more, but I was skimming through the four books from memory) where He called or cried out in a loud voice: “Lazarus, come forth!” and “It is finished!! Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit!” Scholars say “It is finished!” is actually one Greek word that means: “Paid!”

And so I believe that this is what Jesus roars out: COME FORTH!!! PAID!! 

YES, LORD!!!!

If you’ve seen The Lion King, you’d know I left something out in the scene I described at the beginning of this post: the lionesses’ response to Simba. The anticipation in their eyes as their rightful king ascends to his place, and then their roaring chorus in answer to his.

One lion’s roar is impressive enough. Can you imagine the effect of that chorus of roars responding? I promise you, you really won’t find any hyenas in the second movie, not even a shadow! ^_^

The lionesses’ roar echoed the lion king’s, as if in agreement and confirmation of his leadership and ownership, perhaps even extending his territory with their answering roar. All enemies within the sound of those roars run and hide. And all other lions roar back.

This was my reply to John’s post:

“Lions mark their territory with their roaring. And Jesus, as the Lion of Judah, would do the same. Isn’t it amazing that of all tribes He will be lion of, it would be Judah: praise. The Lion of Praise. And He dwells within us, so we don’t hear His roar from outside, but from within. And from within us He roars when we declare His praises, when we declare that “the earth is the Lord’s and the fullness thereof!” Anyone who hears the Lion of Praise roaring as we praise Him are in His territory! And even more, the roar of praise resounds in the heavenlies, in the spirit realm, and Satan himself hears it…. and cowers! He knows that he no longer has any dominion anywhere, except where he can deceive people into thinking that the Lion they hear roaring is him. Let’s roar back! Keep on declaring the praises of Jesus!”

The most powerful roar of the Lioness, the Church, that shakes the very foundations of the earth is the echoing of the roar of the Lion: “PAID!!!! JESUS HAS PAID FOR ALL!!! IT IS FINISHED!!! COME TO HIM!!!” We can tell people that Jesus loves them and wants them to be blessed, but only we tell them of the finished work of Jesus on the cross, the fullness of that love and grace, the completeness of what Jesus has done for them – FOR US! –  do we truly echo the Lion’s roar!

And when the Lioness echoes the Lion’s roar, everyone else knows:  THE KING LIVES AND HE RULES!!

He told me that one of his memories of me back in college was a bible study in the dorm – which, honestly, I don’t even remember. I had a growing feeling that he sees my insistence on believing that there is still some good to be called out of the Filipino as wishful thinking, and wondered if I will have the words to explain that it is not in the Filipino’s good that I trust in, but in the God who, whether we acknowledge it or not, still holds the Philippines in His hands.

Technically, I didn’t have the words, because when I sat back to read what I wrote to him, I know that I could not have written it from my own paltry resources alone. But Jesus promised that the Holy Spirit will give us the words, from all that He has taught us, to answer people who ask.

Here is the answer:

It’s true. God will never violate our free will, not alter the laws of nature.

That’s one reason a lot of people who trust Him have become more proactive, as they believe they are being led to be involved in current events, considering the opportunities God is putting in their lives, in using their influence for change, as much as they can. More and more are running for public office, and setting a standard of integrity that may feel like a little drop, but it is a consistent drop. Media personalities whose integrity is based on a fear of God rather than of what people will think about them do their best to keep their integrity intact in their job, so that even when off-camera, people who see them will see that it’s not put on, but real. And eventually they do run for office, that integrity carrying them through the campaign period that is usually a time for bribery and corruption. They are even willing to begin small: barangay council for some, but those places are where the real people see the realities of their character.

Churches are also becoming proactive in publicly praying for leaders, whether or not they agree with the policies of the leader. In the bible, Paul says to “pray for the king,” meaning the ruling government, knowing that ultimately, God put that person there for a reason. We pray for wisdom for them in deciding matters that they are deliberating on, for them to remember to not be swayed by money but to take seriously the trust of the people whose votes put them in their present positions, for them to not be afraid to stand up for what they know is right, regardless of the wave of corruption tempting them to be selfish and self-serving.

Like that cartoon, regardless of how proud the man is in thinking that his achievements are his genius alone, the truth is God is behind all that goes on. The bible says that God has seen the end from the beginning, and that He works all things together for good. So whatever people, specially those in power, may be doing that seems, in our finite perspective to be “egregiously going against” God’s plan, He has already seen it, and He knows how He will turn it for good, without violating anyone’s free will, nor altering the laws of nature. How He does it is beyond me, but I am just glad that because He is God, He does not have the same limitations that I have, so that is not my problem. My role is to do as I believe He is showing me to do: use the resources He gives me to be a blessing to other people, speak when speech is needed, shut up when speech will harm (specially when what I really wanna do is to kick them where it REALLY hurts, with a baranggay member witnessing everything), and be willing to be part of that process of working things for good in whatever way He says I can be part of it (like simply praying for the president – even if I don’t like him).

I guess where I differ greatly from you is I don’t believe that God is simply sitting back in heaven and watching what goes on until His end-of-the-world alarm clock rings, and He puts an end to everything. I believe He came to intervene, just not in the way we expect: a Jewish carpenter on cris-crossed beams, who rose from the dead 3 days later, was taken to heaven after 40 days, then after 10 days more, He sent a promise: His own Holy Spirit who can somehow live in the hearts of those who submit to Him as their Lord. And this indwelling is not a possession, where the human’s will is subjugated and subdued; but instead, the submitted mind is given greater insight: not just what could be most profitable for me, but what could be best for all involved. And more than this, the power to follow through when the harder option is chosen.

That’s how God is still involved in this world, in what goes on: through people willing to be involved in HIS plan for the world. I have read the bible, and seen the ending, and I have discovered that His plan is NOT the “world peace” that Ms. Congeniality wants. Even Jack Bauer knew that political peace at any cost is not the answer. God’s plan is to give men peace: with Him, with themselves, with others. That was why His intervention was not for a political kingdom, in spite of how ready Israel was to make Jesus king. His intervention is for individual hearts. Because He knows that if the heart of the individual has the assurance of forgiveness for himself, then forgiveness, mercy and graciousness toward others will overflow from that. Jesus described it as “a fountain of living water springing up to eternal life.”

But according to the bible, He will eventually intervene politically. Until then, He intervenes personally, preferring to establish a personal relationship with each of us rather than a world government that sees constituents as mere statistics. We are not statistics to Him. We are people He loved so much that He sent His one and only Son, that if anyone puts his/her faith in what the Son has accomplished on his/her behalf for his/her forgiveness and acceptance before God, he/she will not perish without hope but will have abundant, joyful, unending life, which goes on after the physical body has breathed its last.

This is the God I have put my faith in, and submitted my life to. And this is why I know that He is still involved in what is going on: because He is involving Himself in my life, in Irl’s life, in each o my daughters’ lives, even in my father’s life (classic example of God not violating anyone’s free will, and yet somehow able to work things together for good). That is why I have hope for the Philippines and the Filipinos, because I know who is ultimately holding this nation in His hands. And I am grateful it’s Him!